Patay (Tagalog, similar to ‘chiam’ in Hokkien)

I got my very first maid on 12 October. Till now, I am still not used to having a perfect stranger at home.

I remembered on that day, I went to the agency to fetch my maid home, when I walked into the agency, all the maids greeted Kevin and I, “Mdm”, “Sir”. I felt uncomfortable, cause it sounded so formal, although my Filipino friend assured me that, the words “Mdm” and “Sir” are used so common in Philippines that it is like “excuse me” in Singapore. Ok, yes, I’ve been to Manila several times for work, and I truly understand that, somehow, I am not that kind of person who likes to lead the ‘hierarchical’ life.

Digress a little, I don’t like giving instructions, I don’t like monitoring people.
I believe everyone should be free to do what they want; I believe freedom is something which everyone should deserve.

Now, I have to put behind my ‘beliefs” and turn into an authoritative, naggy and irritating Mdm.

Of course, there are advantages of having a maid at home, I can forget about household chores, I can delete away my list of top 5 most-hated household chores. But it comes with a price…

Maybe I am unlucky, the maid that I have is not up to my expectations. And by the way, her name is Enrica. She is a farmer before coming here to work. According to her “untrustworthy” bio data, it stated that she worked as a housemaid for 2 years.

Ok, back to that fateful day, on the way home when I talked to her, I realized, she does not understand ENGLISH. Gosh. I don’t even know how I can communicate with someone who doesn’t understand English and Mandarin! Luckily I bought a Tagalog-English book, so I talked to her in Taglog during our first day. I should have engaged an Indon instead of a Filipina if I know that she doesn’t know how to speak English.

I remembered asking her, where her hometown in Philippines is accompanied with lots of facial expressions, actions and pointing. Guess what she replied me? She told me she has a cat at home! Duhhhhh…. Patay… she cannot understand simple English and hand gestures.

Everyday I nearly draw out what I want her to do, even a time table will not make things better.

Whenever I talk to Enrica, she will say ‘Yes, Mdm’. I tell myself, give her time, she’ll be fine, and I will be fine…

On the 1st November was her 18th day with us. Conclusion?

Communication
She still cannot understand simple English even though I borrowed books from the library for her to learn English. We even encourage her to speak more to us.
Instance 1: I told her to close all windows if it ever rains. Until now, when it rains, she just stare blankly at the window, enjoying the scenery outside.
Instance 2: I told her to boil water, when there is no more water. Until today, I still can’t have cold water to make milk for Ziv.
Instance 3: I told her to wash something and put something properly, guess what, she went to wash that something which I asked her to put properly and she mixed every instructions up.

I told Kevin, I cannot tolerate her anymore, cause I have been speaking a lot of broken English recently and I was so afraid that one day Ziv will come to me speaking broken English.

Instance 4: I told her, remember to offer guest drinks when they come to our house. One day, Kevin’s grandma came to visit us with a maid. The very smart Enrica, offered drinks to the maid instead of his grandma. We almost fainted. I told myself to REN!!!

Cooking
She is one lucky maid who does not need to do cooking, reason being, SHE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO COOK. Now, I feel so cheated. I remembered in her bio data, her cooking skill was rated GOOD, her English was rated GOOD. But now, everything is BAD BAD BAD.

Cleaning
Her cleaning is horrible. Speechless...

Tell lies and eat chocolate without permission
Instance 1: She told me she did not know how to take a lift, but on the day where I terminated her, I asked her to take a lift down herself (since I don’t want to go up and fetch the Pinoy Princess), surprisingly, she can make it to the ground floor. Damn.
Instance 2: Stealing chocolate. Alright, chocolate is not everything to me, but once she formed the habit of stealing, she can jolly well steal everything. This is definitely a No-No.

Of course there’s more to complaint about her, but since she has left us, I shall let the matter rest.

Destruction so far (19 days)…

Zara dress
Ironing board
My Tagalog book
Missing Rochers

Well, not much destruction though, cause she does nothing other than mopping the floor, washing/ironing clothes and tidying the house.

Oh the day when we return her she blatantly told lies to the maid agency saying that we abused her by making her work for two household. Kevin was enranged and told her to report us to the police since she felt being exploited by us. Of course, she didn't go, and all of us knew that she made up her own story.

While you are reading this, she might be sitting at the agency, waiting for some dumb ass to choose her. Enrica, wake up from your b***** dream!! You are not Pinoy Princess.