Some Developers....are for torture

Tester is a job not well liked by people, I guess. Especially developers, if you happened to be one, read and LEARN this:

• Developers’ favorite line: Screen/Layout looks better in this way.
  My argument: Fuck you. Don’t talk like as if you are somewhat a designer, remember, you are just a boring human who knows (Giving you the benefit of doubt, I assume you know) how to code. Quit being a complete ass hole, by saying this, I don’t care whether it is friendly to you or to your mother, point is, it is not what the client wants, so stop your mindless rambling and do your work.

• Developers’ favorite line: We don’t have time to attend to these defects!
  My argument: Fuck you one more time. Date lines are meant for you to follow/meet, not for you to drink coffee, or enjoy your curry. You cannot finish your project is your father’s and mother’s problem because they have a child who doesn’t know how to read the dates and they should be disgraced.
  

• Developers’ favorite line: Its not our fault, its “Tester A”, “Developer B”, “Manager C” fault.
  My argument: Shit you, everything happened “in your territory” is not your fault but every other ppl’s fault. Are you stupid or what? Don’t try to drag people down when you are at fault. If you believe in God, rest assured he will punish you for telling lie.
  

• Developers’ favorite line: I don’t think this is a defect. It is not. Close it. Remove it.
  My argument: Excuse me, I am a tester and I don’t need a developer to help me differentiate what is a defect, what is not. If you think you know more, quit your developer job and join me in the testing. I m sure you wont like it. Something which is so obvious to be a defect can be said blatantly as “Not a defect”. Who teach you how to lie with your big bulging eyes? Your father or mother? Quick tell me. BTW, if you are so free to think of excuses not to solve defect, why not spend more time looking at your codes, it is more worthwhile… I can assure you. As I wont remove the defect from the list just because of you, a useless you.
  

• Developers’ favorite line: You so free to test, come help us with our defect la.
  My argument: Are you giving me part of your miserable stipend? Even if you are, I won't be a fool to help you. And what makes you think that worth of my help? Let's just put it this way, I prefer to raise defect till you get overload. And cry. (you favorite tool is to CRY, remember??)
  

• Developers’ favorite line: You don’t know what we are doing. You have a lot to do.
  My argument: Crazy or what? You have a lot to do that is your problem and most importantly, you get PAID for doing it. Do make it sound as if you volunteer for the job. Even if you volunteer, no one will want you to get involved… cos you are awful.

I believe the great developers out there have more excuse than the 7 listed here. Unfortunately, I can’t outsmart them in coming up excuses. They are simply professional in creating excuse to shield themselves from all troubles. Sorry if you meet me, I will make your life miserable and you wish you were never born!

Do you know why despite being so dejected in this job; you still stay with the company? You know, you know very well that you are an abnormal individual who refused to get out of your own world. You fancy living in a stinky world of your own and you must have know you are a REJECT in the society due to your weird-ness (sad, in terms of mindset and outlook, you seriously look weird). Look at yourself in the mirror, do you see a human or a devil’s grandma in disguise? I deem the latter. I send my condolences to you, knowing that you are an abnormal person and no one can help you. What to do? Continue to be an individual whom everyone loathe and detest, which I believe that is how you survive since young. Don't die so early ok, cos weirdo like you are facing a crisis of endanger.

PS I love you.