Thursday, March 26, 2009

What make me loss my cool?

I have to confess that I am no Mrs Cool Joe and neither am I, Mrs Hot Blooded. I have a few barriers just like those invisible infra red lines surrounding me that lead to the bitchy sister that has been living inside my body. Once that boundary has been intruded, nothing can stop my brazen sister from retaliating, just like the unstoppable and deadliest Hurricane Katrina, which stormed through the vicinity and left the entire place in disarray and wrecked. Here’s a list of ‘Testing My Patience’ people, so to those reading, don’t you dare to be one of them when dealing with me.

Testing My Patience Type 1: Young Ladies, Old Women, Aunties who sounded like a 5 year old little girl.
Hell to these people. Just G-O T-O H-E-L-L. These women fancy sounding like an undeveloped little girl when their faces have already been infested with deep lines of wrinkles and blackspots. I have a colleague who likes to talk in that kind of tetchy voice or tone. Believe it or not, the killer is not the tone of her talking, but her laughters. And many times, to avoid blood-shed incident in the office, I have to excuse myself whenever her gap starts to widen, or her lips starts flapping, or when she starts taking breathe so as to start yelping. Well, if she is going to come to me and talk like a retard, don’t blame me for being mean or resort to violent, a diatribe against her voice is bound to go straight to her very much aged face. I want to verbally abuse her to see if she will still retaliate back with that tetchy voice. That will be interesting.

Testing My Patience Type 2: People who choose to be DUMB
I know, I know, dumb people deserve love from the society and given fat stipend to make them feel that they are part of the heart warming community and hopefully, that make them feel that they are NORMAL. Unfortunately, there is always someone who refused to abide to ‘morality’, and that’s me. I say, people who acted DUMB should G-O straight T-O H-E-L-L too. I have seen many in my office and outside of office and whether they are intentionally or unintentionally, that doesn’t matter, cause DUMB is DUMB. I used to be a person who can tolerate all kinds of nonsense at work, and I figured that to tolerate does not solve the problem and in fact, encourage dumbness in the office. And so, I have mend my ways, I become a dumb-buster, busting all their dumb acts and publicise them in emails and sometimes to their nauseating blur faces. An engineer once told the project manager that I wasn’t in good mood because I scolded him. I don’t have the chance to tell him, all people who choose to be DUMB made my mood soul, naturally, somehow.

Testing My Patience Type 3: Irresponsible Twit
Irresponsible twits are more often than not dastard. They feared of responsibilities, they loved to delegate tasks to others, generally boastful and extremely full of dumb excuses, but unknowingly, they are displaying their incompetencies to those who judged them. They are a pain. I have a colleague who often blamed her incompetence on others. Out of 10 questions that people asked about something (cause she is an administrator), she will direct them to 10 other different people. And just because I was sitting nearby her (how ill-fated), therefore she directed someone who wants CD-ROM to me and mind you, my position is nowhere near administrator and I don’t even look like ONE. Having had enough, and heard so much from my good friend who correspond to her everyday, I snapped in front of the bosses who sit nearby, “I am not an administrator, so I can’t help, don’t you have the key to the stationery cupboards, since you ARE the administrator. It doesn’t ‘qualify’ me to an administrator just because I keep blank CDs! They are for commissioning!” Like a dastard, she went all quiet and ran back to her mouse hole. Trying to mess with a bitch? Wish you were never born! She always thinks that working late gain her the authority to delegate tasks to my poor colleague who was backstabbed by her many times in front of the bosses!

Testing My Patience Type 4: Management with pea-sized brain
Its sad that they are born with deficiency, but that is no excuse to pissed people off. Cutting nails during office hour in their big cubicle is downrightly absurd! And call himself the 2nd man of the company. Well, the highest man of the company is also no different from the second man. He talks, a lot, with his Bluetooth, walking around his cubicle, walking around me, and talks his way to fatal radiation, I hope. He does nothing everyday, but talk and talk and talk. Well, with this kind of management, there comes with unskilled subordinates. Like the domino effect, it is affecting the entire company and the morale of those who worked hard. Well, it doesn’t take long for me to see, how this is going to end. My advice, if you know that you are stupid, go find a corner and hide.

Testing My Patience Type 5: The KAY Ang Mo
Blonde hair, blue eyes may seem more superior to yellow skin and small eyes. And sometimes some people mistook them as GOD and hence act like a DOG in front of them, adopting their slang, and almost adopting their surname. These people bring shame to their ancestors and if jumping corpses (like those in movies) do exist, then many of them will be jumping and swearing their way to my company. It doesn’t mean to work with an ang mo, you have to speak like them. We don’t see the ang mo speak like us, do we? Then why are these people degrading themselves? I can’t fathom the rationale behind those fake slangs and the curling and twirling of the tongue. Feeling insecure about your nationality is something depressing and I think they should do what Michael Jackson did, dye themselves white, dye their hair blond and wear color contact lenses and also, go under the knife to make it more convincing. Kevin always says this in hokkien, “These people are monkey roar like a lion.” I laughed.

There are many of those people who get on my nerve every day and sometimes I choose not to upset about their existence cause, I know, that no one is perfect and so am I and life is short.

Kevin always tell me to look at the bright side of life, cause the existence of such people makes us a better individual and differentiate the stupid and the smart one.

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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Household Chores


Maid. I need a maid.

Clean and dirty clothes are piling up.
Floors are sticky.
Cupboards are dusty.
Stoves are stained.


Welcome to my house.

It’s a pain to know that there are tons of household chores waiting to be done, and yet, I am sitting here, typing my blog. I feel quite guilty now.

I choose to turn a blind eye. Or rather blind eyes and of course turn a deaf ear to all the nagging by Kevin. Damn… he’s a marathon nagger, second place after my mum. Didn’t know that I escaped from one ‘trap’ and plunged into a ‘deeper, darker trap’. Entrapment…

What makes things worse? My friends are coming to my house for a gathering this weekend!! How am I supposed to clean my house within these few days to welcome them with open arms and ‘open bedroom doors’?

You must be wondering, what I mean by ‘open bedroom doors’?

Hahaha… People like me, super, duper sluggish (at least I admit, ok!) will often think of shortcuts to deal with ‘cleaning and tidying issues”. I don’t understand why friends like to come to my house for mahjong, watch dvd, chit chat, dinner since I often confine their movement within the living area. The rest of the areas are of course restricted area, a.k.a, dumping area.

TheAppleOfHisEye’s Dictionary;
---------------------------------
Dumping area [noun]
1. dumping areas [plural]

2. to dump clothes, bags, luggage (half unpack 6 mths ago), newspapers, magazines
3. doors of dumping areas should usually remained shut (sometimes locked) when guests are around.
4. to portray an impression to guests that the house is spick and span and owner is a neat person.
------------------------------------


Having said, I decided to create a hate list.

Top 5 household chores that I abhor*gritting my teeth as I type*

1. Hang clothes

Have to organise what to hang, what to fold, what to keep in drawer. *roll eyes* Sometimes I wish I can wear uniform to work, so I don’t have to crack my head in the morning and search through piles and piles of clothes to find a top. After finding, still need to iron. Aye…. Morning is already so sucky and yet I still have to do ‘adhoc housework’.

2. Organise my magazines and story books

Monthly magazine subscriptions are terrible. They just get into you mailbox, when you least expect it to come. I realised that I have a pile of subscribed magazines still wrapped nicely in clear plastic sheets. When do I have the time to read them? Where can I find space to store them? Thinking of storing them is a pain!


3. Changing Quilt cover and Mattress

The mattress (king size) is 3 times my size and I have to handle it alone. Can you imagine that?!

4. Mopping the floor

115 sqm and one person cleaning it, plus a dog disturbing me when I start taking out the mop. Where shall I start? *scratch head*

5. Clean Coby’s shit and urine

Ok, I don’t really dislike cleaning his shit and urine because, I don’t usually do that… hahaha… Now, here’s a trick to share, I usually act blur when I see him shitting in the toilet. Walk away as far as possible and yell from the room for Kevin, “I smell shit! You are nearer, go clear it!” [This tactic always works for me. Strongly recommended if you have a dog @ home!]

Obviously, the 5 chores encompass the basic household chores that a house owner should do. So conclusion? I need to get a part time maid.



Before I can end my blog, someone is already nagging me to hang the washed clothes! Life is so miserable! Housewives should be given a 12-mth bonus excluse AWS. [shld at least more than NKF's Durian]

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