A Gloomy Day

Today lunch, I was bowled over by an appalling news of an ex-colleague who gotten very sick.


Well, people joked that one could get different types of invitation at different stage of our lives. For example, when you were in your mid twenties, you probably be getting lots of invitations to weddings, late twenties and thirties, invitations to (babies) full month celebrations, when you were in your forties, invitations to your friends’ children’s weddings, and as you got older, you probably realized that you have lesser friends because you-know-what and probably invitations to memorial services.

That’s life.

But somehow, when it happened, I felt depressed. Or whatever word you can find in the dictionary that denote sadness.

Life is vulnerable. So vulnerable. So unpredictable.

Just when I thought he moved on to a greener pasture and life started to look good for him, he fell sick. He is a nice, simple guy, well-liked by all of us, and yet, such things befall on him.

Anything could happen to anyone, regardless you are a good or bad guy.

Live each day without regret.

I want to say...

Memory is like a bank. We tend to deposit happiness and unhappiness that we encounter in our lives in it. I try to deposit all the happy events, so that when I aged, I can withdraw all of them, to reminisce, and to feel all the happiness that I have been through, again and again.

Do what’s keeping you happy, may you deposit more happy events in your life.

Learn to give back

I have been spending part of my time doing community work for the past two years or more, and some on and off one-day volunteering events.

I recalled my short stint as a volunteer very long ago with A and D. It was enriching, and exceptionally inspirational. And a few years later, after giving birth to Ziv, I joined a volunteer group, nurturing children.

However, after GE 2011, I decided to contribute in a different way, by volunteering for the Aljunied GRC and Hougang SMC. So, I am literally thither and yon.

I assist in house visiting on a regular basis, on some days, I attend briefing and brainstorming sessions with the members, and coordinate and support the constituencies for the weekend activities. (Yes, weekend, but I don’t have a choice, as this is community work.) It has been extremely fulfilling, and at times pleasantly challenging.

I have to say that by volunteering for the alternative party, I see more, learn more, and feel more. I see generous efforts spent to serve the residents, unwavering perseverance in every attempt to reach out to the residents, and tremendous passion to help the residents, all that from the MPs of the alternative party.

Something happened last week, and it set me ponder about a lot of things. I asked myself if I will approve of my son, who graduated from NUS to clean filthy apartments on a regular basis without collecting a single cent? As a very protective mother, I would gave a resounding NO. But my MP friend did it last week.

Give the ruling party the benefit of doubt, and obviously I don’t volunteer for the ruling party, so I do not know if they would do the same. To some, this can be a nitty-gritty chore, “what so great about cleaning dirty homes?”, however, think of it from a mother’s perspective. I would probably think that my university graduate son can do better in private sectors, and why can’t he mind his own business and lead a comfortable life with his equally capable wife, and haveva few grandchildren for me?

Having see so many people from different walks of lives throughout the volunteering journey, I got some answers to some of the most selfish questions I ever asked myself.

After each volunteering session, I heard a lot of “Thank You”. I told my friend, I should be the one thanking her and her husband for all the wonderful jobs both have done for the residents.

Volunteering does not guarantee you the road to Damascus, but certainly, it shed some light on what really happens on the tiny island that we always thought is the best place on earth to stay.

Some pictures to share.

A one-day HGCC tour around Singapore. Can you spot me?



Cleaning up the apartment.



Photos taken from SL's blog.

The Past, The Future

Yesterday, I had a casual meet-up with two of my secondary school buddies. And we reminisced about our schooling days back in ASS, just like how guys hark back about their army days. The panoramic view of the city scene and the night sky of Singapore from Ku De Ta didn’t seem to catch much of our attention.

Those were the days, where we had great fun.

We chatted about our classmates, and how it turned out that our ‘predictions’ of their future didn’t seem to come true. Does it happen to you when you look at the top-in-class-guy and envisaged, “He will become the next President!”, “She is sure to earn big bucks!”, “He will be a very successful person!”?

We did.

And we were all wrong.

The plain Jane in our class got hitch a few years after graduation, making her the first to get married among the classmates.
The gorgeous girl who sat a few seats away from me is still single and unattached.
The outgoing girl whose table was often crowded with suitors recently went on a holiday trip alone and is also unattached.
The top-in-class-guy did not land in a money-spinning job.

I guess it might be too early to judge a person’s future by how well he or she score in the examination. Ten years down the pike, no one knows what will happen.

I remembered vividly that my mum incessantly compare my results with the children of her friends, and she would put me down for my poor results. Truth be told, time proved to my mum and I that, having a glorious past without the perseverance, luck and hard work in the future brings one to nowhere.

Of course, having said that, it doesn’t mean that education should come low on the totem pole. On the other hand, being top in class, or awarded with some the government awards or scholarships do not guarantee one a skyrocket career. Everyone still has to work on our fingers to the bone to achieve what we want.

I think everyone especially parents, including myself, have to constantly remind ourselves that we should not judge someone, and especially our own children and sigh, “He failed his English examination, he is going to be a rubbish collector in future.”

I know of a person who did not complete his ‘N’ level and yet earning more than a lawyer.

The past does not determine the future.

The Long Hiatus

I have been extremely occupied these few weeks or rather this one month. Reason?

General Election 2011.

Isn't that what every Singaporeans should be concern about? As a Singapore citizen, I personally feel that this is the only time, once every five years, that we people, are empowered with the strength to determine who we want in the Parliament, and our voices are being heard, loud and concise. And I am clear of what I want, when I was a little kid. All thanks to my mum, I managed to understand the truth and done assiduous reading beyond the local media, Straits Time, The New Paper, Channel 8, Channel 5, and Channel News Asia.

I relied on yahoo.com.sg, TOC, TR alot for news that the so-called mainstream media did not present to us.

Back to why I was really busy for the past one month.

I volunteered for Worker's Party. I helped to distribute flyers, door-to-door at Hougang, attended almost all the rallies for WP, some days, I was at SDP's rally. On polling day, I volunteered to be the polling agent for WP.

I wished I could have done more, as a Singaporean, by helping out during their walkabouts and whatnot, unfortunately time does not permit.

Every night, after the rallies, I will present the information which I obtained from the rallies and post them up on Facebook. And often, I would sleep at 2am in the morning. On some days, I will talk to friends, making sure they are not just reading for the usual media, and supplying them information which I gathered from the rallies and internet.

Sadly, during this process, I had arguement with some friends, and it was only during the election, that I realized that some of my friends, whom I thought to be good friends have different views from me. With all due respect, I agree, people always say, you have my views and I have mine. Yes, I don't have the right to influence anyone, however, a part of me could not convince myself to accept those who had different views from me, because I can't bring myself to befriend these people who are apathetic to politics and who don't even attend rallies or read unbaised reports from the other media.

To be a responsible voter, I feel that one should:
- attend rallies (of every party)
- read unbaised reports of different parties
- go out and talk to people

If not, it is no different from living in their own world.

Alas, not everyone is doing that. They are just contented being in their comfort zone. I would really like to see and hear from them on what they will think about the current Singapore, when these people progress to the next stage of their lives.

Many people often maintain that, "when something is not spoil, why change it?" I beg to differ, and would regard that this is an extremely selfish thinking. Do the people ever know how many fellow Singaporeans are suffering out there? Some people are blessed with 3 meals a day, and a roof over their heads, they know nothing about what is happening beyond the walls of their house.

I was a volunteer for AMK service center for a year, and I have seen many poor people in Singapore who try to make ends meet. Many of them were on food ration, and I have to gather friends to donate whenever the ration is low. In addition, many of the kids from these poor families are smart, yet they are denied of a proper education just because they are poor. And to make the matter worse, I learnt something from the internet regarding attracting foreign students to Singapore, made me even more despondent about how the way this country is being run.

It was during the last WP rally at Serangoon stadium that I felt like I am a true Singaporean while reciting the National Pledge. Strangely, I don't even feel that I am a Singaporean during National Day - I find it too commercial and fake.

Regarding George Yeo's exit, I would say, no one is indispensable, Singapore will contiune to progress with or without him, or any one else, as a matter of fact. I overheard a 70 year old aunty in one of the many rallies that I attended, she commented that, "不会为了一棵树而放弃整个森林" (won't give up the whole forest because of a single tree) regarding the exit of GY. I vehemently agree to it and amazed by her clear-headed.

Lastly, I am an Aljunied voter. And I am glad, very glad that my voice is heard. I respect Mr Low, and I admire his guts for he refused to bow to threats. 明知山有虎，偏向虎山行。

World Cup 2010 - Japan

It is during the half time of Japan vs Denmark match that I decided to blog. Am in a relaxed mood now, because Japan is leading by two goals. TWO WONDERFUL GOALS, may I assert. Free kick goals, one of them by Honda. I have to admit that was the nicest shot ever in this World Cup.

I am always proud of being an Asian and I can blatanly affirmed that I have never attempted to pull off a ABC by yakking queer accents. I know alot of people do that and I can never tolerate that sort of self denial act. Alas, I realized that there is an increasing number of Singaporeans like to speak with certain accents with their limited vocabulary. All I can say is, sorry dearies, speaking with limited vocabulary doesn't qualify you to be a blonde or bring you to a different status. You are only degrading yourself and displaying your low self esteem as someone who refused to accept who you are. Sad and pathetic isn't it?

Back to the topic of football, I support Asia teams, by and large. Because I hope for the world to see that football is NOT a game that is strictly dominated by the Westerns, and Asians, given the disadvantage in termss of their height, size and experience are still able to perform and score better than the English league or international players. And as I always remember, undisputingly, football was first invented by the Chinese back in China, and hence, all the more, we, Asians must display to the world that we can tackle a ball just as well as any other players, because we INVENTED it!

Of course, having Japan, N Korea or S Korea to enter to the world cup was already a dream came true for me, and perhaps to get into the final 8 of world cup may deem tough at this point of time. But I verhemently believed that time will change, and with that, and I hope to see more Asian teams such as China to get into world cup and go into the finals.

My fave players from the Japan team. (Photos obtained from FIFA website)

Eiji KAWASHIMA - the goal keeper, it is a pleasure to see him catching all the balls, I rarely see him miss a ball.


Keisuke HONDA - the star player of the team who scores twice for Japan for this world cup.


Makoto HASEBE - eye candy and I am not ashamed to say that. The captain for Japan.

The match hasn't end. And I am hopeful.

Ip Man

You know, I'll reflect each time after watching a movie.

Shutter Island: How sad it is to have mental problem. The movie sheds light on the lives of patients who have mental problems and provides insights on the pain of not knowing who you are.

And this week, I caught Ip Man 1 & 2.

I was never touched by action flick. And I thought I never will. Thanks to Jackie Chan, I only turn to action flick when I have nothing to watch. And so, I didn't even realized that Ip Man 1 was kept in one of the many unopen boxes until I needed to find a Hi-5 dvd for Ziv.

Ip Man 1, people who practice martial arts or as a matter of fact, chinese kungfu are often stereotyped as boorish, boisterous and often they belong to the raucous group of people. On the contrary, assuming that the film is based on the real character of Ip Man, he was refine and cultured. He was reasonable and he loved his wife. I remembered his quote vividly, "世上没有怕老婆的男人，只有尊敬老婆的男人." And for this show, it reminds me how much I hated Japanese for their cruel ambition to conquer the world. It reminded me that we can forgive the Japanese for what they have done but never, never to forget what they have done to us. Something that will always remain as a fact no matter how many Takuya Kimura they may have to mesmerize us females. And I strongly believe the fact that good things will happen to people who do good deeds.

Ip Man 2, I hated the arrogant and pompous Ang Mos. And I knew such thing do happen even to-date but in a less audacious manner as compared to the past. But I was enlighten by what Ip Man said, "今天的胜负，我不是想证明我们中国的武术，比西洋拳更加优胜。我只是想说，人的地位，虽然有高低之分，但是人格不该有贵贱之别。我很希望，从这一刻开始，我们大家可以学会懂得怎样去互相尊重." Again, Ip Man's nobility touched me once again.

Another thing worth mentioning is Ip Man's wife. It makes me realized the importance of suporting your spouse in whatever he wants to do. Don't say No because you never know what will come your way when you say Yes to your spouse. I am glad that I did not try to change Kevin or tell him not to do something he likes, changing a person will never make him/her happy and this person will never be the person whom you used to love. Love is not to change a person but to love him/her for who he/she is.

It's kind of interesting and amazing at the same time that how a movie can alter our views and make me a better person.

Look forward to more of such movies, and Ip Man 3, if any.

I am READY!

Muddy slippers. Patriotic hearts. Overwhelming crowd. Awe-inspiring speech. United spirits. Rain or shine or even thunder. Unstoppable zeal.
Ears that only insist on the truth. Throats that cry for the reality.

I love RALLIES.

The looks of fellow rallies goers, the passions that we shared, the smiles that flashed on our faces.
Though we never met, but, we are no strangers cause we are on the same ship.

It’s been 5 years since I made one of the important decisions in my life.

My courageous warriors lost the battle but not their integrity and dignity. I know they will fight on.

I am no ignoramus. I am ready.

Time

Scientists affirmed that ‘Time’ is a non-matter.

I beg to differ.

To me, Time IS a matter.

Time change and we with time. Although Time doesn’t take up space and has no mass, still, the traces that Time has left behind are visibly lucid, especially on the wrinkled faces of my parents, the grey hair on Kevin’s head and the big beer belly spotted on the most handsome guy back in my secondary school (ASS) days.

I get a tad emotional and sensitive lately about Time because for two consecutive days, I brushed shoulders with two of the very gorgeous schoolmates back in ASS. I was even stunned when they sauntered past me and I have to hold on to my astonishment and hurriedly take another peep to confirm they are the ones. And yes, given their age, their pretty faces may still be noticeable but these pretty faces ballooned and so do their bodies.

I don’t know why, very often, ‘weight’ is always the residue of Time.

A few months ago, I bumped into a supposedly hunky ex-classmate at the supermarket towing two kids and his wife, and guess what Time has installed for him? Time, left him a big beer tummy, a bald patch on his head and additional 15kg on his body. He was only 29 years old.

I looked at Kevin and heaved a sigh of relief, turned to the sky and thanked God that Kevin is still in good shape and have substantial hair on top.

So Time is pitiless on everyone of us, Time is callous even to the most good looking people in the world.

I hate Time.

To fight time, I hit True Yoga on average about 3 to 4 times a week, I try to eat like a bird, but to no avail to losing substantial weight.
And perhaps 5 years later, I will hit the aesthetic clinic more often then I visit the gym for some Botox fix.

I must fight Time.

Whassup being 30?

Do I sound HIP?

I believed that this is the last time that this blog is ever going to mention about numbers, birthdays, age or as a matter of fact, everything and anything that has got to do with the disclose of the blogger’s age. Subsequent birthdays will be celebrated in a discreet manner with no guest invited, no cake, no present (unless it is from Kevin), no days off to be taken from work and no one is permitted to breathe a word that screamed “Hhhhhaaaa----”.

Actually, being 30 isn’t as shitty and ruinous (i.e. end of the world) as many would have imagined. Not that I am trying portray that being 30 means voguish or oh-you-are-still-beautiful, or life-has-just-begun (hate this most, does that mean that the past 29 years are invalid?).

And well, of course there are millions of reasons why I truly missed about being 20s and that includes revealing my age without qualms in front of those whom I barely know, often with the evil intention to wow new colleagues and boast self-confident. All in all, what I like best about being 20s is having no commitment, no responsibilities to anyone and anything. Alas, no one can turn back time, and the only thing that I can do that is within my control is to maintain, maintain and maintain my outlook, stay stress-free and remember to smell the roses. Having said that, it probably elucidate on why coffee-shop beer aunties develop penchant for Jolin Tsai inspired outfits, with undying effort to just to look youthful. I don’t even want to think about what I will be togged up in when I reach their age.

Back to the part that being-30-is-not-end-of-the-day, I need to be truthful and unbiased about this. I have to admit that people tend to work hard during their 20s and it is only that during their 30s where they will get to enjoy a bit of what they have worked hard for. For instance, I worked hard on building relationship with my bf then, who is now my hubby. I worked hard to stay awake to take care of my son who is now more or less independent, I worked hard to earn moolah so that today I can afford to have my own house and I worked hard to save out of my stipend to buy the stuff that it would be impossible for me to buy if I am just 20.

To console myself further, 20s is often the age whereby people just don’t treat you seriously, even the sales associate at Hermes is not even thrilled to trail you in the boutique, property agents will assumed that you entered the private property show flat out of inquisitiveness or you simply passed by to take a peep, you will be pass off as a person who desires cheap thrill to test drive the cars when you entered an auto showroom to a continental car dealer. The moment when you reach your 30s (or close to 30s), it is just like having a kind-hearted angel that waved her wand, all of a sudden, you become physically visible to everyone in the world and you look like a potential buyer of everything under the sun, even students with donation tins will run after for you and it is this time that people start to entertain you whether they like it or not. Just recently, I had an ardent Hermes SA who brought me around the boutique, showing me 101 ways of wearing a particular scarf that I briefly laid my fingers on to touch the material. And well, being 30s gives you the permission of not buying anything even after a lengthy conversation and promotion, and I can even walk out of the boutique and still having the SA being all jolly and bided me goodbye and she seemed absolutely sure that she will see me again.

So now, am I happy with being 30?

Well, do I have a choice?

...

So as for my present for being 30? Nothing beats having the 2 Hengs (Kevin and Ziv) around me when I pathetically blow out the 30 candles on my cake! Maybe if a present needs to be something tangible, then that should be none other than the new abode which marked my achievement for the whole of 20s.

Happy 30 Birthday to myself this coming Sunday!

Dream comes true

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
-- Henry David Thoreau

Who would have imagined that I have what I have today when…

My parents moved from a big house to a smaller HDB when we had financial problem back in the year 1990.

During secondary school days, I worked on weekends during school terms to earn pin money for school.

During my poly days, I took up tuition assignments to support myself through school, just to learn to be independent.

Kevin and I took bus 73 to meet each other when we first dated about 13 years ago. Having candle light dinner at Jack’s Place is the chichiest thing to be seen doing.

In 2001, I made a measly stipend of S$1,500 per month. After work, I would attend degree course and give tuition to kids near my house and only return home at 11:30pm. I continued providing tuitions even till the time I was pregnant with Ziv. (It’s hard to give up group tuition classes because the parents refused to let you go, until you tell them that you need to take care of you newborn!)

So! I am not the poorest people in this world, but neither am I born with a golden spoon.

When I was young, I don’t have all the toys that every kids fancy; not to even mention the popular and must-have curios. I yearned for UNO cards, care-bears, Barbie dolls, but I have none. My mother insisted on providing me piano lessons to make sure that I have a backup plan to fall back on, if I failed to do well in my studies.

Having so much deprivation, when I started out working, I tell myself, I want to lead a good life.

I imagined or rather day-dream about my life alot before I sleep. I vehemently believe that to imagine is not being fatuous, to imagine and not working towards what you have imagined IS fatuous. Very often, I made a mental checklist of what I have achieved and not achieved and questioned myself on when am I going to achieve those that are on the pending list.

To attain what I have to date is a benison and before approaching the big 3-0; I am agog to tell the world that I have realized one more dream today and one of my most pressing and critical resolution!

Kevin and I officially own a property worth 1.1 million today!

As some may know, I repined on having MY OWN abode. And now, I got it!! The place that I can call 'my own'. We just signed the OTP (Option to Purchase) form with our agent awhile ago and we both are ecstatic. Cause with those signatures on the papers, it ended the grueling search for properties both online and off line, and it is kinda tough to find one that has the right direction, based on fengshui. Furthermore, and most paramountly, I am not going to pay rental for our sojourn at Rosyth Ville come September!

The hunting story?

About 3 months ago, we saw this duplex unit at Fontaine Parry, it is a penthouse unit with the area of 1744sqft plus a roof terrace on top. We love the layout as soon as we see the floor plan. The area is ideal for a small family like us and Kevin and I love parties and having a big roof terrace would mean more space for gathering activities. And it is the ONLY 2-bedroom penthouse with roof terrace for the entire development! All in all, the unit is apposite for our family! The initial offers did not went smoothly, we issued 5 cheques to get this unit!

Apart from us being happy, I think our property is laughing on her way home after letting us sign the OTP.

Yr 2010 Resolution

Emily put down her resolution for the year 2010 and it elicited me to polish up my draft entry which I have been putting it underneath my pillow since end of December. With January almost past the mid-mark, here comes my annual post.

As usual, let me begin composing the resolution for 2010 by reviewing my 2009 resolution:

1. Have a Baby No. 2
Review: Not that I tried, I just can't make up my mind if I want to go back to the old days, not sleeping... going to KK for vaccine jabs etc... The problem doesn't lie with being pregnant, it is more about the aftermath. Maybe I am too old for that.

2. Get 2 Chanel bags.
Review: Outrageous! I overdone by rounding up the year with the coveted Birkin on top of the 2 Chanels.

3. Earn more money.
Review: I did! Changed job to financial industry.

4. Discipline Ziv, cultivate independence in him.
Review: I did it with the help of my MIL. Ziv started to stay with my MIL during weekdays since mid of last year. It is great, no regrets. He has a more disciplined life like the army life.

5. Weight shall not exceed 43kg if not pregnant.
Review: Pass and fail. Sometimes it exceeded wee bit.

6. Spend more time with Kevin and Coby.
Review: I tried, but failed badly on spending more time on and with Coby. Kevin and I had more couple time in the year 2009, mainly because Ziv stayed over at my MIL's camp for the past half year.

I considered myself a nebbish person. I am always ruled by emotions and hence, ending up overdoing many things especially preposterousness indulgence. Since last year, I have demolished "Shop less" resolution forever and ever knowing that I should be practical and rational because that will forever never ever happen. 2009 was a great year, new job, new abode, new bags, new colleagues...

Now, may I present the resolution... *drum-roll*

Yr 2010 Resolution

1. Have Baby No. 2
This is still on top of the list, maybe it should happen in an 'accidental' manner, so that leave me with no choice. I know Ziv needs a sibling, needs a companion, but going back to the baby days is too tiring for us. And who is going to take care of baby no. 2?

2. Exercise more
I have signed up with TrueFitness and True Yoga for 3 years. Hopefully, I can utilise the package throughout the 3 years. Currently, I am working out about 3-5 days a week, and I am hoping that I can maintain the avidity. And I am pretty sure that I will because I found a new exercise kaki cum colleague, Cindy.

3. Get a luxurious watch
What's next after bags?

4. Ziv is still the most important
Spend time educating Ziv, I want to train him to be more outspoken, confident and less timid.

5. Love my job, more money!
I am not blessed with a job that I truly love (think footballer, artists etc) or where my passion lies, but I am endowed with a job that pays me fairly well. I should be appreciative and love my job. Furthermore, I have uprooted myself from IT industry and to a more profitable financial industry so I should be more grateful.

However, if there is another increase of 30% from my current package, I have to eliminate this entry.

6. Get my own abode
I have enough of renting, aka, paying house installment for my landlord. I MUST get my own place!!

7. Love life, enjoy life
If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything. Go for holiday, spend money, do what I like to do. Be happy.

2012

I am the kind of person who digs catastrophic movies. And very often, after watching these movies, they have lots of repercussion on me. I cried a bucket when I watched ‘Armageddon’, I had nightmare after watching ‘End of the World’. As for ‘2012’, I am more positive. I did not cry. I reflected. And a lot.

There are many articles about Apocalypse and whatnot and seriously I am not bothered by any of them. Not that my fear for death is lessen as time goes by (somewhat true). But I know one thing, everything will come to an end one day, and after the end of something, there will be a new beginning. That is always my philosophy in life for everything and anything. Just like people die, and after death, it may be a new beginning of a new life, such as reborn. I reflected a lot on my life.
Such as –
Shall I buy myself another Birkin bag?
Shall I buy that FM watch?
The dinner tonight at il Lido is definitely worth it despite of the price.
Have I recently said ‘I Love You’ to Kevin?
Where is our next travel destination for next year and how many months is it going to be?
If everything is going to be like the movie 2012, no one in Singapore (I believed, except you-know-who) is affluent enough to get on the Ark and if given a chance to sneak into the Ark, I will probably put Ziv before me, and let him sneak up the Ark himself and pass him my iphone, tell him to look at the pictures in the phone whenever he thinks of Mummy and Daddy (since we are definitely be gone by then). In short, I am willing to give up my life for my son.

I was thinking, so what if you are one of the wealthiest man in Singapore, who cares if you have special abilities such as driving your Lamborghinis with your toes, extremely good in math, ultimately, you have to die with the rest of the less wealthy people and talented people. The thing is, Singapore is too infinitesimal to get noticed for talent (porn stars not included). Maybe those richer ones will die a few minutes to hours later, because they struggled to get to the peak of Bt Timah hill or they get on a plane to nowhere and probably die from a plane crash due to lack of fuel.

What I want in life now is experience. The experience of being able to buy something I like, the experience of enjoying high life. I don’t care if Ziv is ever going to make use of what he will be learning in The Shichidah Kindergarten, I don’t care if paying the exorbitant (and some said outrageous) school fee is going to be worth-while for his life later, what I want is, Ziv being able to experience the unique learning techniques applied to their syllabus.

Of course, after all the said and done, that doesn’t mean I have to fritter all my money away on something which I do not need or mindlessly, but I think that being contented in life and not having regrets is the key to living. I don’t want to be running away from a giant Tsunami and still complaining, “Shit! I haven’t try this and haven’t try that!”

We still have to keep a good amount of money for savings just in case the day do not come, or come much later after our death.

Go watch 2012. You will see life differently, perhaps.

What is Mothers’ Day to me?

Until this month, I finally figured out that Mothers’ Day falls on the 2nd Sunday of the month of May. Seriously, I never make an effort to remember it. Cause, I don’t initiate celebration unless my brother told me so. Not that I am unfilial, just that, I don’t see the need for celebration on that day (of all day, that day). In my mind, I thought the day is somewhat commercialised and it is just a boon to the retailers, restaurants to celebrate the day where they eke out of profit. And maybe choosing not to jump on to the ‘celebration’ wagon reduces me to a pariah or something similar.

Nevertheless, I have my own reasons.

Why of all day, vanload of people likes to celebrate on the day where there is:
No parking lots in the mall
Need to reserve a table in order to have a simple meal
Need to pay extra for all the gimmicks

So how do I spend THE ‘special’ day?

I woke up at 9am in the morning, did some mindless surfing online and made breakfast for myself while both Father and Son had the luxury to wake up at 1045am. Grab some light breakfast and off we go to Shichida.
I dread going to class with Ziv, and so happened that it was my turn and there is no such thing as take-a-break-for-Mothers’-Day. I have to grit my teeth and stayed on with him for the entire 45min or an hour (see, I can’t even remember the duration of the class after 6 lessons). And once I even went to the wrong level of the class and waited for minutes and not see Father and Son, until they told me, I was at the wrong tower, wrong floor. Back to the class, he was doing lots of somersault in the class and ignoring the teacher, classmates and me totally. I let him do what he wants and quietly, frittering away $70 per lesson.
Finally about 40 minutes later, Ziv realised that he did enough somersaults and wanted to leave the class, he carried my handbag for me, his bag and pointed me to the door. I heaved, “Okay, let’s go.”

We sent Ziv to MIL’s place and went house hunting.

Well, what a Mothers’ Day.

What make me loss my cool?

I have to confess that I am no Mrs Cool Joe and neither am I, Mrs Hot Blooded. I have a few barriers just like those invisible infra red lines surrounding me that lead to the bitchy sister that has been living inside my body. Once that boundary has been intruded, nothing can stop my brazen sister from retaliating, just like the unstoppable and deadliest Hurricane Katrina, which stormed through the vicinity and left the entire place in disarray and wrecked. Here’s a list of ‘Testing My Patience’ people, so to those reading, don’t you dare to be one of them when dealing with me.

Testing My Patience Type 1: Young Ladies, Old Women, Aunties who sounded like a 5 year old little girl.
Hell to these people. Just G-O T-O H-E-L-L. These women fancy sounding like an undeveloped little girl when their faces have already been infested with deep lines of wrinkles and blackspots. I have a colleague who likes to talk in that kind of tetchy voice or tone. Believe it or not, the killer is not the tone of her talking, but her laughters. And many times, to avoid blood-shed incident in the office, I have to excuse myself whenever her gap starts to widen, or her lips starts flapping, or when she starts taking breathe so as to start yelping. Well, if she is going to come to me and talk like a retard, don’t blame me for being mean or resort to violent, a diatribe against her voice is bound to go straight to her very much aged face. I want to verbally abuse her to see if she will still retaliate back with that tetchy voice. That will be interesting.

Testing My Patience Type 2: People who choose to be DUMB
I know, I know, dumb people deserve love from the society and given fat stipend to make them feel that they are part of the heart warming community and hopefully, that make them feel that they are NORMAL. Unfortunately, there is always someone who refused to abide to ‘morality’, and that’s me. I say, people who acted DUMB should G-O straight T-O H-E-L-L too. I have seen many in my office and outside of office and whether they are intentionally or unintentionally, that doesn’t matter, cause DUMB is DUMB. I used to be a person who can tolerate all kinds of nonsense at work, and I figured that to tolerate does not solve the problem and in fact, encourage dumbness in the office. And so, I have mend my ways, I become a dumb-buster, busting all their dumb acts and publicise them in emails and sometimes to their nauseating blur faces. An engineer once told the project manager that I wasn’t in good mood because I scolded him. I don’t have the chance to tell him, all people who choose to be DUMB made my mood soul, naturally, somehow.

Testing My Patience Type 3: Irresponsible Twit
Irresponsible twits are more often than not dastard. They feared of responsibilities, they loved to delegate tasks to others, generally boastful and extremely full of dumb excuses, but unknowingly, they are displaying their incompetencies to those who judged them. They are a pain. I have a colleague who often blamed her incompetence on others. Out of 10 questions that people asked about something (cause she is an administrator), she will direct them to 10 other different people. And just because I was sitting nearby her (how ill-fated), therefore she directed someone who wants CD-ROM to me and mind you, my position is nowhere near administrator and I don’t even look like ONE. Having had enough, and heard so much from my good friend who correspond to her everyday, I snapped in front of the bosses who sit nearby, “I am not an administrator, so I can’t help, don’t you have the key to the stationery cupboards, since you ARE the administrator. It doesn’t ‘qualify’ me to an administrator just because I keep blank CDs! They are for commissioning!” Like a dastard, she went all quiet and ran back to her mouse hole. Trying to mess with a bitch? Wish you were never born! She always thinks that working late gain her the authority to delegate tasks to my poor colleague who was backstabbed by her many times in front of the bosses!

Testing My Patience Type 4: Management with pea-sized brain
Its sad that they are born with deficiency, but that is no excuse to pissed people off. Cutting nails during office hour in their big cubicle is downrightly absurd! And call himself the 2nd man of the company. Well, the highest man of the company is also no different from the second man. He talks, a lot, with his Bluetooth, walking around his cubicle, walking around me, and talks his way to fatal radiation, I hope. He does nothing everyday, but talk and talk and talk. Well, with this kind of management, there comes with unskilled subordinates. Like the domino effect, it is affecting the entire company and the morale of those who worked hard. Well, it doesn’t take long for me to see, how this is going to end. My advice, if you know that you are stupid, go find a corner and hide.

Testing My Patience Type 5: The KAY Ang Mo
Blonde hair, blue eyes may seem more superior to yellow skin and small eyes. And sometimes some people mistook them as GOD and hence act like a DOG in front of them, adopting their slang, and almost adopting their surname. These people bring shame to their ancestors and if jumping corpses (like those in movies) do exist, then many of them will be jumping and swearing their way to my company. It doesn’t mean to work with an ang mo, you have to speak like them. We don’t see the ang mo speak like us, do we? Then why are these people degrading themselves? I can’t fathom the rationale behind those fake slangs and the curling and twirling of the tongue. Feeling insecure about your nationality is something depressing and I think they should do what Michael Jackson did, dye themselves white, dye their hair blond and wear color contact lenses and also, go under the knife to make it more convincing. Kevin always says this in hokkien, “These people are monkey roar like a lion.” I laughed.

There are many of those people who get on my nerve every day and sometimes I choose not to upset about their existence cause, I know, that no one is perfect and so am I and life is short.

Kevin always tell me to look at the bright side of life, cause the existence of such people makes us a better individual and differentiate the stupid and the smart one.

Yr 2009 Resolution

My 2008 Resolution Review
1. Shop less, Spend less. – This resolution is expected to fail from the day I declare this.
2. Stop taking cab. – Yes, for the first part of 2008, Kevin drove me to and fro work, and at the second part of this year, I got myself a CAR!
3. Get the Chloe padlock bag. – Kevin bought it for me as my birthday present. And I got the coveted Chanel from Macau trip.
4. Earn more money. – Yes!!! After 3 job hop in a year, I finally get what I want!
5. Pole dancing class. – Failed!!
6. Spend more time with Coby. – Failed!!
7. More couple time. – We certainly do. Talking about common hobby, yes, still shopping, but it has gone up to another level, which is car accessories shopping.
8. Holiday – Bintan with Ziv and Macau with Kevin.

Alrighty, my New Year resolution for year 2009 is perpetually late, but hey, that is better than never, right?

Generally, I have been doing pretty well in year 2008, fulfilling almost 70% of the 2008 resolution. 2008 is a significant year for me, a turning point, may I add, after 3 job hop, I finally landed on a job which I truly enjoy (but not, sometimes) and most essentially, pay me well.

Well, many may maintained that resolutions may sound the same and seeing them as part of the holiday nostalgia, but in this New Year of Recession, the reasons driving them are different. And hopefully, I can abstain from all the enticement and don’t fall off the wagon by the very next day.

Here’s my resolution for 2009.
Came late, but better than never.

1. Have a Baby No. 2
2. Get 2 Chanel bags. (1 down, see latest blog entry)
3. Earn more money.
4. Discipline Ziv, cultivate independence in him.
5. Weight shall not exceed 43kg if not pregnant.
6. Spend more time with Kevin and Coby.

This year I have pull out the “Shop less” resolution mainly because I hope to be realistic, if it is something which I don’t think I can achieve perhaps it will be better to remove it and continue with “Earn more money”. However, I know that with plan to add on to our herd, it is always better to save more, spend less.

With the years goes by, and now, being a mother, I started to learn to appreciating the little things is about maybe not having big fancy things around.

Happy New Year to all.

Are you PROUD?

For once, I feel proud as a Singaporean.

For this time only. I repeat.

Forget about the Olympic. (They are crap…) It is the Paralympics that I am proud of.
On the other hand, I am truly displeased with the recognition that the nation is giving to these Singaporeans.

See, those Singapore citizens who made us proud are not given the same recognition here in Singapore, for the fact that the reward for Paralympics gold medallist is S$100,000, a pathetic 10% of what an Olympic gold medallist will receive.

Apart from the reward, we can certainly see and feel that there’s not much hype about the Paralympics (I don’t even know it exists!). Until some one actually won a medal.

For 2 weeks or more after the Olympics, the national TV was still broadcasting their (should it be “our”?) silver medal win. However, though we won so many medals in the Paralympics, I still do not see any congratulatory messages in the newspapers or television hailing the athletes’ achievements.

This is the first time that our national anthem was played in the Olympic Games, and funny, we don't actually get to see the live footage on TV.

Why?

In fact, it is probably more tedious for the athletes because they have to endure greater mental/physical challenges. A normal healthy person doing sports, and excelling in it takes a lot of hard work and effort, but for someone who is handicapped and doing sports; their efforts and hard work put in are hundred or thousand times more!

The honour that the Paralympics winners bring to the nation is not any lesser if the medal is won, albeit with a physical impairment.

In fact, the Paralympics athletes should be given more rewards as they are truly the ones who need the financial support and encouragement from us.

If resources are limited, then between rewarding disabled Singaporeans and able-bodied overseas ‘talents’, I rather we honour OUR VERY OWN SINGAPOREANS.

Departure Hall

When was the last time you send someone off from the airport?


Me?


Not that I can remember.


Its so common to leave Singapore these days to go somewhere else to relax, take a break and whatnot. But yesterday was a very special day for me. I made my way to the Changi Terminal 3 Airport to send an ex-colleague, a friend and his wife off to New Zealand. They have the intention to migrate.


It is not that they are faced with a Hobson's choice that they have to leave Singapore and venture to the greener pasture at the other side of the world. In fact, I envy their courage and the 'dare to make dream happen' spirit. However, its sad that to see someone leaving us.


Talking about Departure Hall in airports, it reminds me of the show 'Love Actually'. In the show, it says;


Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspision love actually is all around.

The Things I Would Like To Do At Least Once In My Life

I told Kevin, I always have dreams, lots of dreams and plans about what I wanna do in life. Every so often, reality kicks in (so hard) and suddenly you will know that, not all dreams can be fulfill in this life.

I have regrets.

Even you place these regrets in your 'to-do wish list' there will always be an invisible ink indicating "Impossible". And don't tell me "nothing is impossible, if you try" cause that sentence is complete bollocks. We live in a realistic world so we better "behave" realistically.

What is impossible for me to achieve?
My dream job, becoming a PR Executive and my fantasy of becoming a socialite who does nothing other than going to party events and fashion shows.

Hence, its time for me rethink and rewrite my list:

1. Give birth naturally
2. Watch a World Cup match (preferably a match with David Beckham)
3. Be the proud owner of a Hermes Birkin
4. Tour Europe for months and even better that I can live there for a few months
5. Explore haunted houses such as Winchester Mystery House

The revised 'to-do wish list' are pretty much realistic. If I work hard enough, I am sure I will be able to achieve them.

I guess, I can only hope that Ziv will become a PR Executive one day and come home telling me, "Mama, I am busy these days because I am heading a major campaign!"

Or maybe I should add that to my "to-do wish list".

Don't look for me, I'm on maternity leave...

How do people spend their maternity leaves?

Breastfeeding? Attending crying baby? Lying on bed? Stare at the ceiling? Cleaning soiled nappies? Scratching oily hair scalps?

Me? I watched tv, play mahjong, xbox, tour buffet lines and yes, went for some short retail therapies.

Don't assumed that i've delivered. In fact, i'm about a week plus away from delivery. Some people wondered why I applied maternity leave a wk plus in advance and even requested for induce delivery, some even questioned me. I wonder how can I politely tell them this, without being too defensive. My original respond was, "I don't feel like working, cos i'm lazy and I need to have some peace... You know, QUIET, PEACE, TRANQUIL!!! before the little one comes out. I have got 3 long months of break, do you think it bothers me to 'waste' a week plus of leave to stay out of work and to run away from 'kong kam' (pardon me, its hokkien) from work?! It is definitely worth it!"

Anyway, being a 'polite' and 'demure' person, I replied, 'I'm giving birth soon.(with a motherly expression)' That's it, no 'due date' given.

On delivery, the process, the pain, the horror stories of giving birth or even the hospital ghost stories did not freak me out or make me wet my leggings. I deemed I was unknowingly trained during the 9 months that I can't bother how or when the baby is going to come out of my bump. As long as he comes out safe and sound, i'm RELIEVED. I sounded like an irresponsible mother, did I?

Guys will never understand the 'inconvenient' of being pregnant especially during the last trimester. I still consider myself lucky that the whole 9 months was quite a breeze to me. Its just the sleepless nights and toilet crawls @ that is driving me nuts.

Some people told me the tiring part is not about giving birth, its the part where I've to wake up @ night to attend to baby's crying. Seriously, I don't mind that kind of suffering cause I can always share the 'load' with Kevin. I think its time to let him take on the role as a father since I headstart 9 months being a mother. I always tell him this with glistening eyes, "I can't wait for us to suffer together, rather than I suffering alone (being pregnant)."

Right now, I typing this on my bed with SCV showing on TV and its time for a nap soon... And opps... Its only 5pm... *yawn*

Who wants to work in office when you can enjoy these moments alone at home without having to yearn for the arrival of Fridays and frowned at the nearing of Mondays? Not me!